ferguspork

I can't belive my first year at Mount Allison University is over all ready I will be home tomorrow

Ugg Midterms are icky. Life at Mout Allison is going well. I'm looking forward to being home for thanksgiving. I'm going through serious choral withdrawl. I miss everyone in halifax. gah i should go study I'll post more latter.

Alas the fight between Ben, Verrick, and Gwen is consuming and dividing our group. Against my better judgment I am going to write a long involved and angst rant about it. And put my two cents in the pot. I would like to make clear that firstly I do not and will not take sides in this or any other fight between friends, secondly this is not intended to hurt or blame anyone, most importantly I love you all very dearly and it makes me very sad that everyone is upset.

I really do love you all I just want to give you my prospective -given that I know very little about this issue- in hopes that you may help you patch things up or at least come to some sort of peace.

From what I can tell the main thing that sparked this fight was a conversation that Gwen and Ben had about their relationship in light of the fact that Gwen had been to Christian Camp. Ben told me that in his opinion the gist of that conversation was that he wanted to make sure that they could still be friends and Gwen’s was still willing to accept him and Varrick. In short that Gwen's feelings regarding their relationship hadn't changed. From my understanding Gwen feels that the gist of the conversation was that because she was christen she and Ben could not be friends anymore. I also understand that Gwen feels she had given Ben a clear signal that her feelings had not changed by telling him about a program they had done at camp about how Jesus accepted homosexuality. (I am only slightly sure I understand that last bit.)

I can understand how Ben would worry about something like that, though it disturbs me fundamentally as a human being. Not so much because of his worry but because their are people out there who are very against homosexuality in the name of the Bible. It is so frustrating for me. I can understand how Gwen would be upset by this message when it is so contrary to her faith.

All that I can think that happened after this is that a lot of people said a lot of terrible hurtful things to each other out of hurt and anger.

I BEG ALL OF YOU IF SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING HORRIBLE TO YOU INSTEAD OF DWELLING ON HOW ANGERY AND HURT YOU ARE ASK WHY THEY SAID IT AND WHAT THEY MENT BY IT. YOU STILL HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGREY AND HURT BUT DON'T LET YOUR SITUATION AND YOUR FEELINGS TAKE OVER YOUR POWER TO DECIDE INTULECTUALLY HOW YOU WILL RESPOND RATHER THEN EMOTIONALLY. IT IS NOT FAIR TO YOU.

Then there is this side issue of Ben and Varrik Spending what some people feel is too much time together of time together. I believe that it is their time to spend as they wish; however they also have responsibilities to jobs and family and friends. I can understand however that there is a lot of tension in our group around them and with Ben and his family. I know if I were in their position I would find it very very difficult to go home or see friends because of the tension.

Note: Please read my message to everyone not just yours.

Varrick- Apparently some people think your whipped I don't know or care but you have a right to your own opinion away from Ben’s and I think you know that but just in case. (Random Maybe then again I don't think I’ve ever seen you disagree with Ben I don't know) Hugs you try not to stress I still love you.

Gwen- I love you very much and I know this is hard and painful but don't give up and try not to react out of emotion. (So much easier said then done) We will be friends forever. You have had a really hard summer and I want you to know that I would not be handling it nearly so well in your shoes. I want you to know how proud I am of you because of that.

Alyssa-I don't know where you fit into this but hugs anyways. You'll always be my friend.

Ben- I understand why you might not want to go home but your family needs you, your friends need you, Evan needs you even though he may be mad at you.

Evan- you have every right to be mad I would be but listen to Ben’s side of the story. And if and when Ben starts making his way back to your house more often I want you to be very very proud he has that much courage because I know I wouldn't have the strength to start patching things up and going home more often if I new every body there was mad at me.

Ben and Varrik- It is so amazing to see two people so in love and happy in each other's company, careful not to go overboard, but it is truly beautiful to see. Your not aloud to neglect other people though it makes them sad. Given the current situation I can see why you’re not around that much though.

Everyone- One person's perspective is just that make sure you go and get every one's story. This sounds really cheesy but worst comes to worst use your "I feel" sentences. You said... becomes I feel you've said... Don't accuse!!!!!!

In retrospect this post sounds haughty, stuck up, and basically like a very long lecture. I'm going to post it anyways because I'm frustrated. Frankly I don't know what else to do. This is the best I can do to make the fighting stop. This is horrible but grow up stop focusing on how angry you are and start working things out. The vindictive hurt postings are unnecessary and frankly rude.

Love and hugs

Jennifer

PS: I can't fix your problems you have to do that I know it's hard but please keep trying.

(I am hypocritical sometimes though I try not to be I don't know blah)